Tracks
| # | Title | Sung by | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Cell Phone Car Crash | Captain Janks | 0:52 |
| 2 | Larry King | Captain Janks | 2:21 |
| 3 | Breast Cancer | Captain Janks | 0:59 |
| 4 | Earthquake Coverage | Captain Janks | 0:34 |
| 5 | Gun Control | Captain Janks | 0:31 |
| 6 | God | Captain Janks | 0:15 |
| 7 | The Incubus | Captain Janks | 1:15 |
| 8 | Elvis Files Part 1 And 2 | Captain Janks | 0:44 |
| 9 | Fuck Jackie | Captain Janks | 0:58 |
| 10 | Maria Sanbourne | Captain Janks | 0:53 |
| 11 | Various Calls I | Captain Janks | 0:51 |
| 12 | Ed McMahon | Captain Janks | 0:50 |
| 13 | Hulk Hogan! | Captain Janks | 0:38 |
| 14 | Larry King II | Captain Janks | 0:27 |
| 15 | More Earthquake Coverage | Captain Janks | 0:27 |
| 16 | Jesus Died For You | Captain Janks | 2:29 |
| 17 | Various Call II | Captain Janks | 1:03 |
| 18 | Will You Marry Me? | Captain Janks | 3:36 |
| 19 | Shoping On Television | Captain Janks | 2:54 |
| 20 | Ed Meese | Captain Janks | 0:46 |
| 21 | Robin Ophelianews | Captain Janks | 3:23 |
| 22 | Reducing Yourself To An Animal | Captain Janks | 2:54 |
| 23 | Oklahoma City | Captain Janks | 1:38 |
| 24 | Cindy Adams | Captain Janks | 0:15 |
| 25 | Jerry Lewis Telethon | Captain Janks | 1:01 |
| 26 | C.P. Telethon (Hot, Monkey Love) | Captain Janks | 5:29 |
| 27 | No Name | Captain Janks | 0:43 |
Source: MusicBrainz release group 2cd32c70-59e3-3733-aa05-a2188dfbb650 (CC0). Cover: Cover Art Archive.